the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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