Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
