Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
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