Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
