You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize