it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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