apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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