Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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