Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
