I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize