Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I think I won the penis lottery.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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