Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
