I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
