Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
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