I'm eating all of the evidence.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
