Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
