Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
