yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize