In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
