Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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