god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
