Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
