As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
