I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
