is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
