i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize