JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
