my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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