He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
