Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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