Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
