I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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