he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
