i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
