Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
