That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I haven't been this sober since birth.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
