Cold hands, warm shart.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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