I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Drunk is a universal language darling
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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