People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
