Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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