Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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