please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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