when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
