I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
