Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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