I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
