I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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