I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
