whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
