More tranny stories later!
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
