fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
