HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
