i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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