Define "chronic" masturbator.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
