if i can run in heels then i can drive
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
