Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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