Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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