i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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