I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
