why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
