It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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