listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
