so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Still dying that you shit outside
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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