I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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