shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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