I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
