I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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